The Detention
by Godeyes Geller
Summary: This was written when they're all in sixth year, because I wrote it before it came out. Very random, with RHr, hilarious insult tables and Snape in a tutu to come eventually.
1. Chapter 1

**The Detention**

**Disclaimer: **Just so you can't sue me, Harry Potter came from the brilliant mind of JKRowling, not my insane one. However, the plot did, which explains a lot.

**A.N: **I can't think of a plotline for Harry's Love at the minute (not that it ever had that much plot in the first place) so I decided to put up the first chapter of this, which I wrote before the sixth book came out. It's pretty long so I might nottype all ofit up unless you really really want me to. And you can only tell me that by **REVIEWING!

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**Chapter 1**

Harry, Ron and Hermione were lined up outside the potions classroom talking. It was their first day back at school and they had just found out hat the first lesson they would be having that year was double potions.

"Oh it's so unfair! Double potions as first lesson in a new year must be bad luck," Ron groaned.

"Yeah, Snape's probably going to make us do something really hard," agreed Harry.

"Here he comes now," Hermione said, pointing down the corridor, "and he doesn't look too happy either."

"Just our luck," Grumbled Ron.

"Silence," said Snape.

They filed into the classroom and started towards their usual places when Snape stopped them.

"I'll put you in pairs this year. Potter, you can go with Malfoy. He should keep you under control and stop you from any mischief. Miss swotty Ganger can go with Mr Crabbe and Weasley with Goyle. Hopefully your potions should turn out better with some Slytherin help."

When everyone had been paired up, Snape told them what they had to do.

"Today you will be making a hyper active potion. When you drink it you will immediately have extremely high energy levels for the next hour making you run round like mental idiots. It was not my choice to teach you this potion but unfortunately I have to," Snape sighed, "Instructions on the board, ingredients in the cupboard as usual. However I thought it necessary to repeat this as some of you in here would lose to a troll on brain power."

Everyone started getting all the things they needed and the classroom became noisy with the clanging of equipment and the chatter from the students. Harry stayed at his desk with his head in his hands.

"Well go and get the ingredients then," sneered Malfoy.

"You," replied Harry.

"You're just as idle as your father Potter," Snape said, looking down at Harry with a look of intense loathing, stopping at their desk as he walked down the room, "He always expected everyone else to do all the work for him as well, whilst he went showing off to everyone else."

"My Dad was not idle," Harry said through gritted teeth. He decided to swear he would not let Snape get to him this year.

"Go and get the ingredients then, spat Malfoy.

"You," replied Harry.

"You're just as idle as your father was Potter. He expected everyone to do tall the work for him as well," Snape said, stopping at their cauldron as he walked down the room.

"My father was not idle," Harry said through gritted teeth. He decided that he would not let Snape get to him this year.

"Go and get the ingredients then Potter," he sneered.

Harry got up and walked over to the cupboard as slowly as he dared.

"Quickly Potter, a dementor's chasing you!" smirked Malfoy, and all the Slytherins sniggered.

"Just ignore them Harry," Hermione whispered as he walked past.

Harry fetched the ingredients and got to work chopping up the gut of a dragon.

"You're doing it all wrong. Those aren't half inch squares, they're more like microscopic triangles," Malfoy criticised.

"You do it then!" Harry said, chucking the finely chopped dragon gut at Malfoy.

"50 points off Gryfindor Potter," Snape said, looking sharply round at the sound of Malfoy's squeal, but at the same time Malfoy had shouted "Right that's it!", picked up a unicorn's horn and a handful of knarl quills off the table and thrown them at Harry.

""AAARRGHOOOWW!" Harry cried, clutching between his legs in agony. The pain was so painful that he fainted, falling into Neville and Pansy Parkinson's cauldron behind him.

"BANG!" said Harry and the potion as they reacted with each other and exploded. Books, Snape, cauldrons, desks and people went flying through the air amongst bits of broken wall, bits of broken glass and bits of broken people.

The books, Snape, cauldrons, desks, people, bits of wall, bits of glass and bits of people finally landed on the grass outside Hogwarts. Hermione had been lucky and landed on the top of everything else but Harry and Malfoy had both landed first and everything had crashed down on top of them before they had a chance to get up and run away.

Hermione got up and started digging in the pile of books, Snape, cauldrons, desks, people, bits of broken wall, bits of broken glass and bits broken of people. She found a hand waving around and pulled. Snape appeared out of the pile and immediately started shouting.

"WHERE IS THAT POTTER! WAIT TILL I GET MY HANDS ON HIM!"

Snape started digging frantically in the pile. He searched and searched and eventually, one by one each student was found. That is, all of them except Harry. By now Snape was in a furious rage. He kicked the last lot of stuff away and found Harry there.

"THERE YOU ARE YOU IDIOTIC LITTLE BRAT! SEE WHAST YOU'VE DONE TO MY NICE POTIONS CLASSROOM AND MY OFFICE! I HAD SOME IRREPLACABLE SPECIMINS IN THERE! YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS POTTER!" roared Snape.

Snape tried to pounce on Harry but Harry stepped back leaving Snape in a panting heap on the floor. His eyes were bulging and spit was flying from his mouth as he tried to speak. Harry was just wondering whether he should call a mental hospital when Snape got a grip on himself, stood up, and put his face so close to Harry's that Snape's breath almost made him faint again.

"I, Potter, am going to personally make sure you are expelled. But until I manage to do that, you have a detention every night with me. And if you miss a single second of that detention, it will be the worst for you. MWAHAHAHAAA!"

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Review if you like it. Review if you don't like it. I want to know what you think even if you thought it was the worst thing you've ever read (although please tell me WHY you thought it was bad and if there were any good bits) Anyway just **REVIEW! **Please. 


	2. Chapter 2

**The Detention**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Harry Potter.

**AN**: Finally I have another chapter to put up. Sorryit's been such a long time but I haven't been bothered to write recently, and this story has practiaclly no reviews, and none from people who don't know me, so it didn't really motivate me. I will carry on with this story until I get some inspiration.This chapter has some R/HR, just in case you wanted to know.**

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**Chapter 2 **

Everyone was sent back to their dormitories whilst Dumbledore and Snape were repairing the classroom. Harry was suffering a lot of pain from the unicorn horn and knarl quills, which were still stuck.

"Go to Madam Pomfrey," suggested Hermione, "She'll get them out and stop it hurting in no time."

"No! It's too embarrassing!" Harry wailed.

"Well let me pull them out then. I already know and it's not like you have to pull your trousers down or anything, but you look like a right idiot with long pointy things sticking out of your trousers."

"No! It'll hurt too much if you pull!"

But Hermione had already reached down and pulled with all her strength.

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!" Harry screamed in a high girly voice.

"Oops, sorry Harry I didn't mean to…"

"I thought I told you _NOT_ to pull them out?"

"Well I thought you'd be in less pain…"

Harry's trousers were slowly staining red. He didn't care about being embarrassed any more; he just needed to get to the hospital wing.

A few seconds later, Ron came down to the common room to see Hermione looking very upset.

"What's wrong Hermione?" he asked, sitting down next to her on a two-seater sofa.

"Harry's going to hate me. I pulled these out," she said, indicating a bloody mess of sharp objects, "and it…sort of made it worse. I hope he's ok. He was in agony. And it was all my fault."

"No it wasn't Hermione. It was Malfoy; he chucked them at him in the first place. I'm sure Harry'll be fine. Madame Pomfrey'll fix him up in no time," he said, subconsciously putting his arm round Hermione to comfort her.

Hermione smiled and found that her head was on Ron's shoulder.

"Hermione, while Harry's not here…there's something I've been meaning to ask you," Ron said hesitantly, looking Hermione in the eye with his hand on her shoulder.

Hermione looked up at Ron, not daring to believe what she hoped it might be.

"I … I-"

"Hey guys, I'm back. It doesn't hurt at all any more, she healed me in a second!" Harry said as he walked over to Ron and Hermione who had jumped apart.

"That's great Harry! But I think you should be going to your detention now. You're going to be late if you don't hurry up."

"Oh. It's so unfair. Well, see you later, if you haven't already gone to bed."

"Bye, mate. Hope he doesn't give you anything too bad."

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Sorry this chapters short, not my best and a long long time in coming, but please review anyway. I will only carry this story on until I get some inspiration for a new story. Unless you all love it that is. 


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